This is an old review from a site I used to have called He said, She Said. I had hundreds of reviews on that site. I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into that site and am going to preserve what I can of it. If a review from that site made it's way here, that means it has been updated. Whenever I watch a movie that I already reviewed, I will update it and put it here. All new reviews will still be put on the Facebook page.
What He Said:
I’ve got money that says most of you haven’t seen or even heard of The Long Kiss Goodnight. It did ok in theaters and has a respectable rating on Rotten Tomatoes too, but I wouldn’t exactly call it popular. I can’t say I’ve heard a whole lot of discussion about it. And trust me, I know stuff. I’m the kind of guy who spends time roaming the interwebs discussing the finer details of film: like who can win in a fight involving John McClane and Martin Riggs.
Back to my point though, I have no idea when I discovered this gem of a movie. It was not something I grew up with despite it coming out during my teens. It flew under my radar. I do vaguely remember seeing trailers for it, but I don't believe I saw it until I was an adult. I want to say I saw snippets of it on TV and thought, "Holy shit, this looks awesome, I gotta check this out."
I did and it rules. It absolutely positively fucking rules. I really cannot stress enough how awesome this movie is. I love every
insane minute of it. It's funny, has great over-the-top action, and is wonderfully acted. Plus, it takes place at #Christmas!
Geena Davis is Samatha Caine...no wait, she's Charly Baltimore...or is she? All you need to know is that this movie involves
amnesia, a hilarious private investigator (Samuel L. Jackson in his prime), black ops, spies and other government officials,
and balls out action. Davis plays a woman with a mysterious past, who is currently living in a small town in Pennsylvania and
working as a teacher. She has a daughter and a boyfriend she's head-over-heels for.
Fully aware of her memory problem, she’s been known to hire the occasional private investigator. The most recent one is Mitch Henessey (Jackson). He is extremely low-rent, but has recently stumbled upon some clues. Man oh man, is Jackson good in this movie. He’s got some extremely funny lines that are perfectly delivered. I'm talking about laugh out loud funny. It's a very entertaining performance. His reactions to the situations he's put in are pure gold; and only get better once he discovers who Davis' character is.
I would say Jackson steals the show, but would be doing Geena Davis a disservice. She is just so damn good. It is totally unexpected too. She’s not the first actress I think of when thinking of bad-ass women on screen, but you’d never know it by watching this movie. She took every bit of madness the script threw at her and ran with it. Her performance is one for the ages. I'm talking Sarah Connor or Ellen Ripley levels of kick-ass.
There are several excellent supporting roles in this too. Brian Cox and David Morse play people from Samantha's past that give her clues as to who she is and what is going on. I don;t EVER remember Brian Cox being this funny and David Morse is a very intimidating guy.He looks like a normal person, but is a big guy and always had a strong screen presence, especially when playing tough guys.
The bad guys are total bastards too, especially Craig Bierko. God, I hate him in this movie. You're supposed to, but I legitimately want to punch this man. There's a henchman - the one with one eye - was great too. Great henchman performance.
I give director Renny Harlin (Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger) and writer Shane Black (Lethal Weapon and The Last Boy Scout) a heck of a lot of credit for putting together all the pieces necessary to deliver a fun, action-packed movie. To quote Adam Goldberg, "Balls!" Hole. E. SHIT, this movie is awesome. It is the product of an era when action movies still looked and felt real, had great characters, and whooped some ass. If you are a fan of the genre, you will not regret it.
Rating: Thumbs up.
This movie review was first written for your reading pleasure on April 11, 2011. It was updated on February 18, 2016 and again on December 2, 2021.
Oh man, so this one time I woke up from amnesia and realized I was a CIA assassin with awesome ninja powers. Ok, so that wasn’t actually me. It was Geena Davis in this circa 1996 action/thriller A Long Kiss Goodnight. I had seen bits and pieces of this movie several times, and it was pretty entertaining, but my husband went out and bought the flick, which forced me to sit down and take it all in in one sitting. Now, the fact that my first attempt to make it through the movie was unsuccessful really had little to do with the quality of the film. It had much more to do with my general lack of sleep the night before. Simply put, the back of my eyelids became more interesting. But during my second sitting I was actually able to make it through and I have to say, it was a pretty good movie.
Hmm…a little unbelievable, which I guess is stating the obvious, but not too bad. Samuel L. Jackson really makes the movie. He plays one of his classic snarky sidekick characters who gets his tush kicked but plays a crucial role in saving the day. You can tell how far into the movie you are by how bruised and beaten Samuel L. is. Bloody nose? You’re probably only about half way. Covered in oozy crusty red mess? You’re likely close to the end.
I get the sense this movie is about more than a former CIA agent kicking butt—there’s something in there about a terrorism conspiracy—but I honestly didn’t really get it, and frankly don’t care to. There’s enough action, fighting, and general butt whooping to keep me satisfied either way.
Diagnosis: Thumbs mostly up.
